Funny Inspirational Quotes: Part-1

It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips. 
- Fred Allen

You can't have everything. Where would you put it? 
- Steven Wright 

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones

If you are afraid of being lonely, don't try to be right. 
- Jules Renard

When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win. 
- Henny Youngman

You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward. 
- James Thurber

One thing you will probably remember well is any time you forgive and forget.
- Franklin P. Jones

Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted. 
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

When you're out of willpower you call on stubbornness, that's the trick.
- Henri Matisse

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. 
- La Rochefoucald

If you let your head get too big, it'll break your neck. 
- Elvis Presley

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. 
- Will Rogers

Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
- Dwight Eisenhower

A good time for laughing is when you can.
- Jessamyn West

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is.
- Chuck Reid

Live each day like it's your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.
- Jason Love 

It's okay to look at the past and the future. Just don't stare.
- Anonymous

There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option.
- Jeph Jacques

It's good to shut up sometimes.
- Marcel Marceau (famous mime)

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.
- Sam Levenson

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.
- Franklin P. Jones

Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.
- George Bernard Shaw

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.
- Franklin P. Jones